The Grondigulizertron

This is a Grondigulizertron.  It can be used whether you are in Egypt or Somerset, but nowhere else.  Once activated, it provides the noise of a donkey landing a helicopter.  Should the need for such a noise arise, use the Grondigulizertron, as opposed to other less high-quality brands such as ‘Tesco’s Own.’  Available in both ‘gigantic’ and ‘quite big’ sizes, as well as ‘miniscule’ and ‘almost non-existent,’ along with a free map of how to get to Egypt or Somerset, and where to find a policeman should you get lost.