Slightly exclusive interview with new indie sensations

The No-Marks may be the newest band on the scene since the last one, but will they really be able to push into new areas?

'Well we're playing Lowestoft for the first time next week.'

It's lead vocalist, Clark Clarksonby.

'Some critics have said that we're nothing more than a cross between Nirvana and The Massed Bands of the Royal Highland Fusiliers.  That's a very one-dimensional view.'

But aren't you a very one-dimensional band?

'No.'

Vexed bassist, Gary Pink.

'The No-Marks are simply the sound of a porpoise in a ditch, or a cablecar being pulled along the M1 by a giant ocelot.'

'You're wrong there.'

Guitarist extraordinaire, Bob Loam.

'Hold on, mate.  I don't consider myself a guitarist.'

But surely you play the guitar?

'I hold the guitar and my spirit plays it.'

Has your spirit ever considered tuning up beforehand?

'That would make us sound too safe, too conventional, too..what's the word...?'

'I don't know.'

Toothless drummer, Milton Winterbaum.

'Hello.'

Why, I wondered, did they decide to call themselves The No-Marks?

'Because there's no one in the band called Mark.'

'What did you say?'

Erratic xylophonist, Mark Hoist.

'Originally we were going to be called Womack & Womack, but we discovered there was another band called that.'

Simple.  They see their new EP as embracing a kind of negative optimism, a rejection of both conformity and non-conformity, and yet an acceptance of both, though not at the same time.

'Exactly.'

A silence descends.  It's awe-inspiring.  It's the sound of The No-Marks, except with the music taken away.  Perhaps, all things considered, it should be.

listen to my weird weekly radio show here!

Helo.

I do a weekly show on Wandsworth Radio which is a bit weird and contains:

things
stuff
odd parts
babbling
nuttiness
peculiar topics
your tweets
a strange serial
records
bizarre ramblings


here it is! have a listen!

 https://www.mixcloud.com/WandsworthRadio/dredgeland-comedy-wandsworth-radio-radio-funny-amusing-jokes-twitter-tweet-fun/


Goodbye.

a comedee show on lyne

Helo deer reeders it is me agane cheers cheers! I hav mayde a sketch show with Mark Hibbett and it iz now on lyne for yoo. Pleez wotch it and then say to the BBC to put it onn. Thank yoo and buy for nowe.

Jhon x

Best of DredgeLand Vol 2

Humans of earth. Here’s the best of October 2015's DredgeLand Radio Spectacular Spectacular, featuring me (myself) and Andy Harland (himself) of that Wandsworth Radio. You can listen to it and hear stuff. We is on every Thursday from 7pm till 8. Tweet us anytime at @DredgeLand. You can also buy us drinks (Ideally Quatro).

The DredgeLand Radio Spectacular

Stand-up comedian and human man Andy Harland and myself now have a weekly show on Wandsworth Radio and we'll be putting a fifteen to twenty minute 'Best Of The Month's Shows' podcast up on here, you see. So thus and therefore:

Behold The Best of September!

HEAR Andy struggle with the studio equipment!

SEE very little as this is radio!

GASP as the wacky wireless duo attempt to talk faster than was ever thought possible!

STRAIN as Andy attempts to convince John that his feature idea - "This Week's Biscuit" - makes great radio!

MARVEL at the talking topics!

DO other things!

But above all LISTEN to this week's wacky and zany yet somehow nutty compilation thingggggggg!

Thank you.

Lost Enyd Blighton (not Enid Blyton) Book Rediscovered

A book that was previously thought to be lost by Enyd Blighton (not Enid Blyton) has recently been rediscovered, thanks to its recent rediscovery. A spokesman for the estate of Enyd Blighton (not Enid Blyton) said 'We are very grateful that it was lost. Otherwise it would never have been rediscovered.' Here is an exclusive extract (from the book).


The Secret Seventy-Seven by Enyd Blighton (not Enid Blyton)

'Let's have a meeting of The Secret Seventy-Seven!' said Peter.
'Oh yes, let's!' said Jane, shutting her book with the book shutter she'd got for Christmas. 'We'd better send out messages to the others. You're quicker at writing than I am, Peter, so you write seventy-six messages and I'll write the other one.'
'Oh Jane!' said Peter, scornfully. 'You've never been good at Maths. As you and I are also in the society, it means there's two less messages for me to write.'
'Woof!' said Spaniely the spaniel.
'Yes Spaniely,' said Jane, 'I know you think the work should be split more evenly, but don't forget I've got writer's cramp.'
'Woof!'
'And no, I'm not making it up. Now Peter, you need to write a message to Paul, Lucy, Mary, Cedric, Bill, Len, James, Wally, Dave, Bazza, Lembit, Clint, Harrison, Peabo, Vera, Gwen, Ted, Cyclops, Odin, Bamber, Rumpole, Quagmire, Tucker, Crates, Sybil, Bazil, Bingo, Snorter, Mungo, Rotter, Puce, Nigel, Arlene, Eric Davidson, Quattro, Banshee, Freddddddddddd, Sylvia, Piper, Roger, Gladys, Pilbeam, Timmy, Trite, Arnie, Mucus, Cluckton, Ralph, Muriel, Tuler, Molly, Ned, Bathsheba, Ethel, Nahden, Chips, Banjo, Phones, Carstairs, Tiptree, Sally, Kipper, Frampton, Gloy, Wilhelm, Cinzano, Benson, Hedges, Parsley, Sage, Stuffy, Scruffy, Puffy and Don, and I'll write one to Daphne.'
'Woof!' said Spaniely.
'Shut up,' said Jane.

Three months later, all the messages had been written, and this is what they said:

"A meeting of The Secret Seventy-Seven will be held on the seventh of the month in the seven sheds at the bottom of our seven gardens at No 7 Sevenly Street, Sevenoaks.  Meeting starts at 8."

They delivered the messages and then went to prepare the sheds for the meeting. Peter looked round, but then again he had always been awfully fat.
'I told Mother about our meeting,' said Peter, 'and she's made us heaps to eat.'
'Oh dear, I'm allergic to heaps,' said Jane.
'What shall we get the Secret Seventy-Seven to do?' asked Peter.
'Perhaps we should solve a mystery,' said Jane.
'What kind of a mystery?' asked Peter.
'I don't know - just a mystery that's all.'
It was all becoming very mysterious. It looked as though the Secret Seventy-Seven might have a mystery to solve after all.

An extract of something similar can be heard as part of The John Dredge Nothing To Do With Anything Show on The British Comedy Guide website, or you can listen here:

final podcast of the series

In the last but also final programme of the series there are gannets for all the family, but it’s the raspberries you need to watch out for.  Tyne and also Wear are on the agenda, along with Leighton Buzzard, You and Yours, and the front door.  Original beat combo The Garglers make an unwelcome reappearance, as does Terry, and, indeed, June.  But will the theme tune explode?  Where have all the rostrum cameras gone?  And is Don Durbridge as slightly odd as he seems?