Tuesday, 14 January 2014


Today I interviewed the head of the leading provider of artichokes for the whole of North-West Frinton, Brian Bnbgz, named after a spelling mistake.

JOHN: Brian, thanks for taking the time to speak to me today.
BRIAN: Have an artichoke.
JOHN: Tell me Brian, in your view what makes a really good artichoke?
BRIAN: Well, to me it needs to be the exact opposite of a really bad one.
JOHN:  And how many artichokes do you provide to the folk of North-West Frinton on a daily basis?
BRIAN: Approximately two.
JOHN: That doesn't sound like very many.
BRIAN: I wouldn't say that - for the people who only have one artichoke it represents twice as many.
JOHN: What are your plans for the future, Brian?
BRIAN: Well I'm hoping to be the first man in space.
JOHN: Er...Yuri Gagarin was the first man in space.
BRIAN: I'll be the second one then.
JOHN:  Did you know that the first pop star in space was his daughter, Lady Gagarin?
BRIAN: Have an artichoke.
JOHN: Any final words for your fans, Brian?
BRIAN: I've got some penultimate ones, will they do?
JOHN: Not really.
BRIAN: Oh dear.
JOHN: You genuinely don't have any final words at all?
JOHN:  Brian Bnbgz, thank you very much.

Brian Bnbgz appears by kind permission of a tree.  I've no idea why - I didn't like to ask.


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