Yesterday I took part in the British Plinth Hoisting Championships which, due to lack of funds, took place in New Malden Central Car park. There was certainly a good turn out. Or we thought there was until we realised all the cars were there to visit the Sainsbury's next door. There were five competitors give or take two or three - in other words, me and a man called Len. Len had been hoisting plinths all his life and thus had far more experience. He was able to hoist a particularly large wooden plinth several feet off the ground using a complex series of ropes and pulleys, whereas I had bargained on using a Plinth Hoister which I had picked up in Woolworth's a few years ago. Sadly it fell to bits as I got it out of the box. Len was thus crowned the winner and celebrated in time honoured fashion by doing nothing whatsoever. Bravo, Len!
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