Helo deer reeders it is me agane cheers cheers!
I hav mayde a sketch show with Mark Hibbett and it iz now on lyne for yoo.
Pleez wotch it and then say to the BBC to put it onn.
Thank yoo and buy for nowe.
Jhon x
Thursday, 19 November 2015
Tuesday, 10 November 2015
Best of DredgeLand Vol 2
Humans of earth. Here’s the best of October 2015's DredgeLand Radio Spectacular Spectacular, featuring me (myself) and Andy Harland (himself) of that Wandsworth Radio.
You can listen to it and hear stuff. We is on every Thursday from 7pm till 8. Tweet us anytime at @DredgeLand. You can also buy us drinks (Ideally Quatro).
Tuesday, 29 September 2015
The DredgeLand Radio Spectacular
Stand-up comedian and human man Andy Harland and myself now have a weekly show on Wandsworth Radio and we'll be putting a fifteen to twenty minute 'Best Of The Month's Shows' podcast up on here, you see. So thus and therefore:
Behold The Best of September!
HEAR Andy struggle with the studio equipment!
SEE very little as this is radio!
GASP as the wacky wireless duo attempt to talk faster than was ever thought possible!
STRAIN as Andy attempts to convince John that his feature idea - "This Week's Biscuit" - makes great radio!
MARVEL at the talking topics!
DO other things!
But above all LISTEN to this week's wacky and zany yet somehow nutty compilation thingggggggg!
Thank you.
Thursday, 13 August 2015
Lost Enyd Blighton (not Enid Blyton) Book Rediscovered
A book that was previously thought to be lost by Enyd Blighton (not Enid Blyton) has recently been rediscovered, thanks to its recent rediscovery. A spokesman for the estate of Enyd Blighton (not Enid Blyton) said 'We are very grateful that it was lost. Otherwise it would never have been rediscovered.' Here is an exclusive extract (from the book).
The Secret Seventy-Seven by Enyd Blighton (not Enid Blyton)
'Let's have a meeting of The Secret Seventy-Seven!' said Peter.
'Oh yes, let's!' said Jane, shutting her book with the book shutter she'd got for Christmas. 'We'd better send out messages to the others. You're quicker at writing than I am, Peter, so you write seventy-six messages and I'll write the other one.'
'Oh Jane!' said Peter, scornfully. 'You've never been good at Maths. As you and I are also in the society, it means there's two less messages for me to write.'
'Woof!' said Spaniely the spaniel.
'Yes Spaniely,' said Jane, 'I know you think the work should be split more evenly, but don't forget I've got writer's cramp.'
'Woof!'
'And no, I'm not making it up. Now Peter, you need to write a message to Paul, Lucy, Mary, Cedric, Bill, Len, James, Wally, Dave, Bazza, Lembit, Clint, Harrison, Peabo, Vera, Gwen, Ted, Cyclops, Odin, Bamber, Rumpole, Quagmire, Tucker, Crates, Sybil, Bazil, Bingo, Snorter, Mungo, Rotter, Puce, Nigel, Arlene, Eric Davidson, Quattro, Banshee, Freddddddddddd, Sylvia, Piper, Roger, Gladys, Pilbeam, Timmy, Trite, Arnie, Mucus, Cluckton, Ralph, Muriel, Tuler, Molly, Ned, Bathsheba, Ethel, Nahden, Chips, Banjo, Phones, Carstairs, Tiptree, Sally, Kipper, Frampton, Gloy, Wilhelm, Cinzano, Benson, Hedges, Parsley, Sage, Stuffy, Scruffy, Puffy and Don, and I'll write one to Daphne.'
'Woof!' said Spaniely.
'Shut up,' said Jane.
Three months later, all the messages had been written, and this is what they said:
"A meeting of The Secret Seventy-Seven will be held on the seventh of the month in the seven sheds at the bottom of our seven gardens at No 7 Sevenly Street, Sevenoaks. Meeting starts at 8."
They delivered the messages and then went to prepare the sheds for the meeting. Peter looked round, but then again he had always been awfully fat.
'I told Mother about our meeting,' said Peter, 'and she's made us heaps to eat.'
'Oh dear, I'm allergic to heaps,' said Jane.
'What shall we get the Secret Seventy-Seven to do?' asked Peter.
'Perhaps we should solve a mystery,' said Jane.
'What kind of a mystery?' asked Peter.
'I don't know - just a mystery that's all.'
It was all becoming very mysterious. It looked as though the Secret Seventy-Seven might have a mystery to solve after all.
An extract of something similar can be heard as part of The John Dredge Nothing To Do With Anything Show on The British Comedy Guide website, or you can listen here:
The Secret Seventy-Seven by Enyd Blighton (not Enid Blyton)
'Let's have a meeting of The Secret Seventy-Seven!' said Peter.
'Oh yes, let's!' said Jane, shutting her book with the book shutter she'd got for Christmas. 'We'd better send out messages to the others. You're quicker at writing than I am, Peter, so you write seventy-six messages and I'll write the other one.'
'Oh Jane!' said Peter, scornfully. 'You've never been good at Maths. As you and I are also in the society, it means there's two less messages for me to write.'
'Woof!' said Spaniely the spaniel.
'Yes Spaniely,' said Jane, 'I know you think the work should be split more evenly, but don't forget I've got writer's cramp.'
'Woof!'
'And no, I'm not making it up. Now Peter, you need to write a message to Paul, Lucy, Mary, Cedric, Bill, Len, James, Wally, Dave, Bazza, Lembit, Clint, Harrison, Peabo, Vera, Gwen, Ted, Cyclops, Odin, Bamber, Rumpole, Quagmire, Tucker, Crates, Sybil, Bazil, Bingo, Snorter, Mungo, Rotter, Puce, Nigel, Arlene, Eric Davidson, Quattro, Banshee, Freddddddddddd, Sylvia, Piper, Roger, Gladys, Pilbeam, Timmy, Trite, Arnie, Mucus, Cluckton, Ralph, Muriel, Tuler, Molly, Ned, Bathsheba, Ethel, Nahden, Chips, Banjo, Phones, Carstairs, Tiptree, Sally, Kipper, Frampton, Gloy, Wilhelm, Cinzano, Benson, Hedges, Parsley, Sage, Stuffy, Scruffy, Puffy and Don, and I'll write one to Daphne.'
'Woof!' said Spaniely.
'Shut up,' said Jane.
Three months later, all the messages had been written, and this is what they said:
"A meeting of The Secret Seventy-Seven will be held on the seventh of the month in the seven sheds at the bottom of our seven gardens at No 7 Sevenly Street, Sevenoaks. Meeting starts at 8."
They delivered the messages and then went to prepare the sheds for the meeting. Peter looked round, but then again he had always been awfully fat.
'I told Mother about our meeting,' said Peter, 'and she's made us heaps to eat.'
'Oh dear, I'm allergic to heaps,' said Jane.
'What shall we get the Secret Seventy-Seven to do?' asked Peter.
'Perhaps we should solve a mystery,' said Jane.
'What kind of a mystery?' asked Peter.
'I don't know - just a mystery that's all.'
It was all becoming very mysterious. It looked as though the Secret Seventy-Seven might have a mystery to solve after all.
An extract of something similar can be heard as part of The John Dredge Nothing To Do With Anything Show on The British Comedy Guide website, or you can listen here:
Tuesday, 4 August 2015
final podcast of the series
In the last but also final programme of the series there are gannets for all the family, but it’s the raspberries you need to watch out for. Tyne and also Wear are on the agenda, along with Leighton Buzzard, You and Yours, and the front door. Original beat combo The Garglers make an unwelcome reappearance, as does Terry, and, indeed, June. But will the theme tune explode? Where have all the rostrum cameras gone? And is Don Durbridge as slightly odd as he seems?
Monday, 27 July 2015
very silly comedy podcast no 5
In this week’s barnstorming brouhaha of balderdash, agricultural singer/songwriter Farmer Collins goes more beserker than ever before. There’s an exclusive wait as part of our detective serial which I’ve forgotten the title of, and Kojak tries to get out of Birmingham in his own inimitable style. Despite this, Leighton Buzzard shines forth once again, but do bring a puncture-repair kit just in case.
Monday, 20 July 2015
Dear Dredge - The UK's Foremost Untrained Agony Uncle Attempts To Help You With Your Problems
Dear Dredge
Both my father and my mother have been banjo players since before the war, along with all of my cousins and ancestors. Sadly I am unable to play the instrument despite having had 3,5050461 lessons, and instead I have had to make do with the ukulele. My parents have virtually disowned me and I have been ostracized by a number of ostriches and other members of the local banjo-playing community. What should I do?
Don, Prestwood
Dear Don
Why not disguise the ukulele as a banjo? If anyone asks you why it still sounds like a ukulele, simply change the subject.
Dear Dredge
My husband has decided to hire the Royal Philharmonic Orchestra to mow our lawn. He feels that not only would the large number of people involved help get the task completed more quickly, but they might give us a performance afterwards at no extra cost. We are both fans of classical music and effective gardening, but is this a step too far?
Gladys, Frinton
Dear Gladys
The RPO are not widely known for their lawn mowing skills so it may prove a costly mistake, with the possibility of sheet music left strewn all over the garden. I would recommend you use the Kronos String Quartet instead, as they have excellent horticultural skills, and are happy to give recitals after completing any gardening work. They also take up a lot less room.
Dear Dredge
I am writing a concerto for camels as I believe these magnificent creatures have been ignored by the classical music world for too long. Do you have any advice?
Len, Nahden-on-Sea
Dear Len
Speaking as a composer of concertos for camels myself, I can only applaud this move. However if you do have to give a performance in the desert, make sure you take some suntan lotion with you. I should add that a camelologist friend of mine recently pointed out that camels fear the key of G, so why not write it in A-flat or, if you need more room, A-house.
Dear Dredge is one of the features that can be heard as part of The John Dredge Nothing To Do With Anything Show on the British Comedy Guide website, or you can listen here:
Both my father and my mother have been banjo players since before the war, along with all of my cousins and ancestors. Sadly I am unable to play the instrument despite having had 3,5050461 lessons, and instead I have had to make do with the ukulele. My parents have virtually disowned me and I have been ostracized by a number of ostriches and other members of the local banjo-playing community. What should I do?
Don, Prestwood
Dear Don
Why not disguise the ukulele as a banjo? If anyone asks you why it still sounds like a ukulele, simply change the subject.
Dear Dredge
My husband has decided to hire the Royal Philharmonic Orchestra to mow our lawn. He feels that not only would the large number of people involved help get the task completed more quickly, but they might give us a performance afterwards at no extra cost. We are both fans of classical music and effective gardening, but is this a step too far?
Gladys, Frinton
Dear Gladys
The RPO are not widely known for their lawn mowing skills so it may prove a costly mistake, with the possibility of sheet music left strewn all over the garden. I would recommend you use the Kronos String Quartet instead, as they have excellent horticultural skills, and are happy to give recitals after completing any gardening work. They also take up a lot less room.
Dear Dredge
I am writing a concerto for camels as I believe these magnificent creatures have been ignored by the classical music world for too long. Do you have any advice?
Len, Nahden-on-Sea
Dear Len
Speaking as a composer of concertos for camels myself, I can only applaud this move. However if you do have to give a performance in the desert, make sure you take some suntan lotion with you. I should add that a camelologist friend of mine recently pointed out that camels fear the key of G, so why not write it in A-flat or, if you need more room, A-house.
Dear Dredge is one of the features that can be heard as part of The John Dredge Nothing To Do With Anything Show on the British Comedy Guide website, or you can listen here:
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